Recurring Dreams of dead mother being alive, but is now leaving me?

Recurring Dreams of dead mother being alive, but is now leaving me?My mother died on Jan. 13, 2010. We shared a house together after she had a major stroke at age 62. She could get around a little with a walker, could dress herself, etc. I always had to do all the cooking, cleaning, shopping, etc. and always had to be around. Although she wasn't always the nicest person, I look back now and think she was my only actual soulmate. I had a child out of wedlock just before her stroke, and the three of us were the family unit. We would watch TV together, talk about things, etc. At around the age 78, she had another stroke and other health problems. She was in a nursing home for a couple of months, but since her rehabilitation wasn't going to get any better, the insurance would no longer pay for it. She needed total care now, and since i was single and had to work full time, that kind of care was impossible. I begged others in the family to help out or take her, but no one would, so i had to bring her home. I couldn't give her the care she needed, so I was forced to look for an assisted living facility for her, which she absolutely refused. As the days came closer to the time she would have to leave, she tried to kill herself by taking an overdose of pills. She was taken to emergency and when stabilized was taken to a mental health facility for the required 10 days after such an attempt. My mother and the whole family (who never in their life ever helped with anything) disowned me. She was in the home for about 2 years and I made a few short visits. In the meantime, other members of the family, finally were giving her lots of attention and visiting her more than they ever did in the past. One member of the family had her sign over her power of her attorney to her, had her change her will and completely disinherent me, and had my mother leave everything to her. There's still a huge heartbreaking story about this that goes on, but the short of it is that she had gotten pneumonia and died. I had felt guilty over having to put her in assisted living and everyone disowning me, and had no family left but my son, and now she had died, and I never got to say my good byes.

It's been 10 years now, and i still dream of her and she is always alive in my dreams. Sometimes it's like she never died, other times it's kind of strange that she sort of died but is not dead anymore. I have probably had a hundred or more of these dreams and they were always pleasant. Sometimes I'd wake up feeling happy, other times I'd feel like crying because she was no longer here. I retired about a year and a half ago and miss her more and more all the time, probably because I'm so alone and she's not here.

I've been going through some tough times lately, and during a short nap today, I dreamt of her, but we were both much younger. I had found out that she was secretly planning on leaving, and leaving me. And then she was in a car taking off. There were actually other people in the car. I jumped on the back of the moving car and was crying and begging that she don't leave. Please, mom, don't leave me. Then I said if she left me that I'd kill myself. Then I begged and pleaded that if she'd stay that I would do anything for her. Anything she wanted, just please don't leave me. Then I woke up because my darn dog woke me up barking at something.

I went into my family room and just started crying, trying to figure out if this dream had any kind of meaning. I was looking up stuff on dreams on the internet and came across yahoo answers and thought I'd give it shot. Please, if anyone knows anything about this kind of stuff, let me know what you think. I am still so upset and teary-eyed.
OOPS - I MEANT SHE DIED JAN 13, 2000 (ten years ago).

Answer by Amaretta
I'm sorry about your loss. Our dreams often reflect our own concerns and preoccupations. In your case, you're dealing with loss and loneliness and feeling alone. You were treated unfairly by both your mother and your familly. Your dream reflects that sense of loss and abandonment that you feel in your waking hours.

Answer by IntuitiveImpressions
My father died in 1995 at the age of 54 and I still dream of him on a weekly basis. She has been letting you know that she is still around you, guiding and protecting you. Even if in the dreams she occasionally leaves, it only means she has other things to do on the Other Side. No worries. She will return. My dad comes and goes and always returns.

Answer by Bes j Stephensen
It sounds to me like you really loved your mom deeply and wanted to take care of her. I believe that we have connections to loved ones even after they cross over to the other side. It sounds to me like you and your mom stayed connected in a special way in spirit. It seems like there are different things happening around the same time. For example: your deep love and concern for your mom's welfare grounded you for a long time. Even after she crossed over, the connection that you had with her was not lost right away.
Also, your mom knew that you wanted to bless her and that you did the best that you could do. Somehow the connection that you and your mom had helped you get through the toughest part of the grieving period right after she passed. Some people might think that ten years is a long time to grieve but there is no time in the spirit. I think that this dream reveals that you have reached a new place in your consciousness. Whether you realize it or not, you have reached the point where you have come to terms with the separation. Clearly this separation is not something that any of us can change. Your dog barking and waking you up out of the dream tells me that it is not time for you to go to the other side. It is okay to miss her, just don't hold on so tight to the memories that you stop enjoying the time that you still have left on this earth. Nothing can take away your memories or your love for her. It is beautiful how much you love her and miss her. It is a blessing that you have a child. Having become a mother yourself in a way is the universe giving you something to help you live on. Remember, you are loved. Even when it seems like you are alone - you are never alone. I believe in God. I believe that God is always with us whether we believe in Him or not. I believe that God is the silent witness, and that He not only knows our hearts but that He makes things right. Never stop demonstrating your love for others. Demonstrating love has nothing to do with money..remember that. Always continue to love and be humble and wise enough to receive love. I hope that this reply to your inquiry is a blessing to you and encourages you to live,love and laugh. Enjoy your journey!
Sincerely,
Bes Joy-Day Stephensen

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