I'm not using names or genders for either parent. I'm the step-parent of the child in question.
My 5 year old step-child has been abused by the "other" parent. We have been through the courts and they have all but failed us. We had mental health professionals who asked to be subpoenaed so they could testify as to what the abusive parent told them was admitted to. My spouse kept a journal of events during their divorce when the child was 1 to 2 years old. There are events that happened where the child acted out acts of violence on a doll. The child also was admitted to the hospital for an inflamed hip. The abusive parent would not feed the child when the child was in the care of that parent. When it was time for the child to go to that parent all heck would break loose. Screaming, begging, tantrums, stomachaches; it was a horrible ordeal. The child said that the other parent threw the child into walls. Also the child said that the abusive parent would rub their head onto the floor. The child started counseling and the counselor contacted CS on the 2nd visit. The child is now no longer responding to therapy (it's been 7 months) so we are thinking maybe a psychiatrist or art therapist may help. The child loves the therapist but refuses to talk about anything.
Info on the other parent. Diagnosed compulsive liar and borderline personality disorder. Not on meds. Very manipulative. Grew up in an abusive home where the parents beat on each other. This person can sound completely logical and can fool almost anyone. The exception are the professionals (mental health) or those trained in these issues. The other parent is remarried with step children living out of state. They often go to visit these kids and stay the night. They refuse to give us the address and are in contempt by taking the child out of their county (for more than 24 hours) without our knowledge or consent. After extensive searching online we have found a name of the grandparent but still cannot find an address. The other parent has been telling people that they want to move to this place. We do not like the child in question to stay there because; the other kids are thought to have been molested...and they all sleep in one bed. The child has been physically hurt there and abused by the other parent. After asking the child, the child clams up which is typical when they are told "secret things."
Long story short. We had temporary full custody until the courts said that the child had to go back part-time with the abusive parent. Since then all the behaviors that had stopped during the child's time with us has resumed. The only exception is the screaming and crying. There are physical symptoms of stress present; diarrhea, stomaches. And the child will (about every other time they return from weekend at the other parents) not eat for up to 4 days. Child has been examined, nerves was the diagnosis. The other parent blames us saying we sent the child to daycare which is a stressor. The child has been going through separation anxiety with me when we get to school. Sometimes we literally have to pry the child off me and a teacher has to occupy the child with something. Often the child will cry in class for me.
We are at a loss. Our attorney will not return calls. The other attorney will not return our attorneys calls. The other parent is not complying with court orders are we are sick of all of this. The child is in the middle; fear and love for an abusive parent.
Suggestions, comments?
Child services was involved. They said there was something wrong in the home but "they can't do anything." They only said if it was their child they wouldn't send them back. The abusive parent is now trying to convince the child that the abuse never happened. This makes for one confused child who things they are the problem.
Answer by Sweet_Di
have you tried protective services?
Answer by Jennifer W
I say screw the courts. If the parent is not going to comply, you do not have to let the child go. The child is the priority. The abuse needs to stop and the parent has no right to the child if they are abusing.
Best of luck and God bless.
Answer by emagidson
protect the child. Refuse to participate in visitation any longer!
If necessary Pack up and leave the county. Consider leaving the US. Panama and Costa Rica are nice. If you have a pension or residual income you can live like royalty in Nicaragua, Peru, Ecuador. They can't get you there.
Your trust in the courts is touching but probably misplaced. Attorneys are not advocates, they are paid clerks. They do what they know how to do INSIDE the system. You won't get them to "sign off" on your plans to withhold the child from visitation or to leave the country, so don't ask them. Better if they don't know.
Answer by wiesnk@sbcglobal.net
Get the police involved, maybe this will wake the courts up? The next time they happen to leave the country and are in contempt of the custody arrangements call the police or go to the court house?
No child (or loving step-parent) should have to suffer such a horrible life. Bless you for being a safe haven when the child is with you. I will keep all of you in my thoughts and prayers.
Sorry I couldn't be of more help...
Answer by garrettsambo
Oh no! This is sad! Keep on calling the attorneys! Something needs to be done!
Orignal From: Professionals or people who have dealth with child abuse...?
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