My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years, and have lived together for 2. For the past year and a half or so, he has showered less and less. He's not depressed and doesn't have any mental health issues. He doesn't smell bad, and doesn't have noticeable body odor or anything, but it's getting to where he showers around once or twice a week. We used to shower together, but after our move I re-enrolled in college and am showering earlier than he does now. It seems that he just lacks motivation.
I do notice little things, like he has gotten mild dandruff and his hair is sometimes greasy. His skin feels sticky to the touch... very mildly after awhile. Occasionally, he will smell a bit sour when I hug him close. It's hardly noticible, but I can tell.
Please only mature, thoughtful, and enlightening answers. Should I address this with him? He is wonderful to me; cooks for me every day, cleans up. I love him very much. Thoughts?
I'm 21 years old and he's 29.
Answer by Michael
Honesty is a very good policy. Being direct wouldn't be a bad idea either. If you love him; If he loves you; then you'll both want to meet each others requests, and respect each others wishes.
Answer by jack bauer my hero
Walk in and say "oh hon youre a bit stinky!" then laugh very lightly. Then suggest you take a shower together. But be happy and plesent.
If he continues to not shower. Tell him flat out he smells and needs to bathe now.
Answer by firefly
well i think you need to gently sit him down and talk to him about it. maybe he has something on his mind or things like that can happen if someone is depressed, my sister can go for weeks without showering but she doesnt neccesarily stink but her hair gets a bit wild. maybe he feels a little neglected, maybe you suggest a shower together. i wish you the best of luck and i hope it all works out.
Answer by William
Try an address this in a tactful manner, perhaps you can just let him know that you would like it if he showered every day. I assume you are both pretty young, and if he is on the way to being a slob (pardon the expression) now, what will he be like in a few years? It is not very difficult to take a shower every day.
Answer by Kimmy3
You should bring it to his attention if it bothers you. If he goes out, then other people might notice his "slight odor" more than you do or they might be apalled by his appearance of greasy hair. I bet his "down there" hygiene has gone down too. HI hygeine problem can not only be harmful to him, but to you as well. A daily shower is a way of riding onself of bacteria which can cause odor AND illness.
You should address this in a gentle matter since it might damage his ego. At the same time, he may not notice that his problem is noticeable to you or to anybody else. Maybe when you get home from college (suggestion only), make a suggestion to take a shower, the two of you that is. I know you hate going to bed with wet hair, but its one way to cure your problem without hurting his feelings. Also when you can, do things in the afternoon (like out to dinner, etc) and tell him you want him to get all dolled up so to speak (which means taking a shower, shaving, etc) because you think he's so handsome when he gets dressed up for you. There are other ways too, but Im sure you have some ideas of your own.
On the other hand, if it does not bother you then dont bother with it but I think you would not have written unless it did.
An idea to enlighten you: It may be that he has gotten into his comfort zone since you two moved in together and this is just how he is.
Orignal From: Boyfriend's hygiene?
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