In early high school ex-friends of mine decided it would be funny to mess with my life (since I didn't think their prank phone calls and immaturity was fun and left them). They didn't know I had depression for real. But they told the principal I was threatening to kill myself, which I wasn't at the time, but whatever, they thought it was funny. So I denied it, but of course no one ever believes me. I'm not close to my family at all. In fact, I'm pretty sure I hate them. They have been terrible to me and always mis-treated me. So I've basically been alone, shy and to myself my entire life.
So then I was forced to go see a psychologist. The first one was a lady. She was accusing me of doing it for attention so I would not say a word to her the entire time. I just remember sitting there staring at her desk wishing I could put a pencil through her head, she was making me so angry (I hate when people lie). So she called my mom in and told her I told her that I did drugs, smoked, drank and was having sex with everyone, at age 14!!! Which in NO way was true, not even to this day. I was in Teen Institute for fricken sakes, a drug/smoke free group!!! So obviously my mom didn't believe her crap. So we went to another guy in the same office. Same thing, he tried accusing me of doing drugs and alcohol so I just sat there doing nothing. He upset me so much that I hyper-ventilated and had to be taken away in an ambulance to the hospital. My mom had to pay for all the medical bills, and she had to pay several hundred for each visit. So THAT'S why I don't like talking to people. And the fact that no one will understand. Like, I tried talking to my boyfriend about it last night, asking if he would get mad if I went to a doctor for help (since he yells at me when I don't come home because I have medical appointments) and he told me that depression is 70% choice, that you choose to be depressed. And I just get p*ssed when I hear that. So now I feel like proving him wrong and dealing with this without help and then end up dying just to prove a point! For some reason I feel very strongly about proving points, even if it hurts my health :/
So there's just a SMALL bit of background, but I'm trying to get a little more outgoing and talk with doctors so I'm not in pain 24/7, but I don't know if I can talk to someone about this. I even go out of my way to lie about being depressed, so no one knows. Like I lied on my Neurologist Info sheet at my first appointment, because I don't want to have to lose my job from leaving early all the time for appointments for a "crazy person." My life is miserable enough, my job is the only thing keeping me together, and I don't want to lose it and I don't want anyone knowing I am going. So what should I do?
*Sorry about the length :/ That's the strange thing about me. I won't say a single word in front of a stranger in person, but put me online and I'll talk up a storm and open up like they're my life-long best friend.
Correction- I put "psychologist" in there that I went to when I was younger, but I think the correct term was "Counselor." I don't know the difference, to be honest.
Oh, and my insurance through work covers it. I get 30 days Inpatient and 20 visits Outpatient with just a $ 25 Co-Pay. But I doubt I would go if I had to pay more than $ 25/visit.
Answer by kwakagirl
I reckon that talking to your neurologist would be a great start. It would also not be so scary as it's someone you already know. Being in the medical field they will know where to send you to and also, if they are someone you like and trust, chances are you will like and trust someone they reccommend you to.
Good luck, I hope you can sort your life out.
Answer by hotpinkKITTY
Ask your neurologist or your regular doctor for a referral to a good therapist. Counseling can really help, if you have a good therapist.
It's important to ask for help, because while it might seem like a weakness, it's really a strength and can help you become stronger.
You're young, you have your whole life ahead of you, do you want to feel like this forever? It doesn't have to be this way.
Answer by Craic Whore
It's nothing to be embarrassed about.
Get the help! It's out there you just have to ask. Took me a good long time for me to go get the help. That's the first step. You can do it. x x
Answer by j
You should try to find a counselor. Especially one that understands their job is to listen and not accuse. Their are a lot of great counselors out there, but there are just as many crappy ones too.
You need to know when to walk out! Youre paying!! Anyway, once your seeing a counselor he or she will determine whether or not a psychiatrist is in order. A psychiatrist can prescribe medication and make a diagnosis.
Its really scary. i know from personal experience as some one who hides it well too. But the more open you are with a stranger face to face, your problem wont be something you
need to hide anymore. You have to accept it as a piece of you that only you can fix.
I used to believe depression was all in peoples heads too. That is, until i was put on anti-depressants. I have been dealing with depression by myself since i was 10 and im 21 now. I didnt get help till i was 19 and i wish i would have earlier.
The fact is, depression isnt peoples faults. Its in your brain!! Your boyfriend, although may think he knows what hes talking about, doesnt have a P.h.d. And a statement like that can cause more damage than its worth.
Just realize that its your life! Picture yourself in a couple of years from now! Cause in the end, its yourself youre going to have to answer!
Answer by Hope
Not everyone who has depression recognizes it to "be" depression.
Some people speak of their issues as
Emotions
Problems functioning
Problems with other people
Anger at the world in general
physical ailments
sleep problems
a desire to die
Worry or fear
problems focusing their mind, paying attention, making decisions, memory problems
grief
sadness
a feeling that life is around them is moving too fast, and they can't compete.
a sense that colors are muted, and the sun's light is dull
a sense that they need to drown out their own thoughts with noise
an obsession with danger
an obsession with food
an obsession with sex
obsessions with physical activity, etc.
feeling stuck in a cycle of failure
addicted to stress
Any or all of these can be symptoms that something isn't working right,
that the person is unable to keep their life in balance, that there is something missing in their ability to function, that they feel the need to try to meet or disguise their emotional deficit with too much or too little of the wrong thing. Their choices show poor decision making and an inability to manage their emotions well. For some their emotions and thought process focuses on the body, their displeasure, or their ailments.
Choose your own area of complaints.
Write it down in a list
Show it to any Dr.
Ask for help
Ask for a referral to someone who can treat your "problems" or emotions or relational problems. Counselor / Psychologist / Psychiatrist
Orignal From: How to approach someone about depression?
No comments:
Post a Comment