I feel like I have no one to turn to for support, except my friend & my counselor. I'm having a rough time, & my ENTIRE life is destroyed to the point where it's impossible to be repaired. I'm so depressed that all I CAN do is lay in bed. I feel emotional torture EVERY day, & even though I'm 25 w/ a college degree, I feel like my life is going nowhere. I feel stuck & trapped.
I feel the need to cry, but I'm afraid because I don't want the neighbors to hear me, & I'll be hyperventilating uncontrollably. No one takes me seriously. No one wants to listen to me. Every day of my life is bad. I can never get to have a good day. I never get to be happy. I feel like I'm on house arrest, being stuck @ home all day. Afraid to leave the front door, & afraid to interact with other people because of fear of being wrongfully imprisoned because of my Tourette's & OCD.
99.9% of people I know, ESPECIALLY family, is toxic for me. My OWN twin is the worst. I'm tired of the dangerous rumors my whole family make about me, & she INITIATED the false & dangerous rumors. If people are not toxic towards me, they're fake & pretend to feel sorry for me, thinking I'm an attention-seeking drama queen. I'm not asking for pity.
I'm always having stomach & headaches & body pains & feeling weak & dizzy. I had 2 strokes @ age 5. I'm afraid that with all this stress, a blood vessel might pop in my brain & kill me. My family doesn't care about stressing me out enough to kill me. In fact, they hate me SO much, they WANT me dead!
I need to avoid all of them. I'm cutting everyone in the family out of my life. I'm tired of being bashed, verbally chastized, & blamed for the family abuse.
They only treat me this way because I'm the only 1 with a college degree, & because of the false rumors my twin sister started about me when we met them after we left foster care @ 18. The family didn't even get the chance to get to know me as a person. They just believed her dangerous lies & rumors. Foster AND biological family are all toxic & abusive towards me. I already cut the foster family out of my life. I gotta let the BIO family go. My twin sister makes lies & jokes, saying I'm crazy with multiple personalities, & that I tried to murder & molest her kids & stuff. Not true. We live in 2 different states of the US, far away from each other. She tells me I'm a satanic demon who's bound to going to hell, & she preaches bible class to me, not knowing what she's talking about. She's a hypocrite. She & her husband & other family members have me in over $ 80 K worth of debt because they used to threaten me out of money I didn't have, & they'd start beating up on me. They lie on me, steal from me, accuse me of being a sicko, lie & say I have imaginary friends, & everything else.
I'll be glad to spend Thanksgiving alone & in peace, or maybe with my 1 friend who DOES care about me.
Answer by Mopar Muscle Gal
you might need to see your therapist more frequently and or change/up your meds during the Holiday season
Your therapist can help you make the cut from the emotional bonds of your family
Good Luck
Answer by $ u$ @N
so it looks like you have a counselor...thats good...thats a start. tell her/him exactly what you've just told us. print out this page and take it to her/him and have her/him read it if you don't feel comfortable talking about it. i would say to talk to your family about everything but i think that will just lead to more stress and drama. im not kidding when i say that you should take this (the whole thing with your sister and parents/foster parents etc.) to doctor phil. hes great with family issues and could really help you out. but its gonna be really hard to get on his show...so, were back to square one: tell your counselor!! good luck hun im here for ya
Answer by anothernick
I hope things improve for you. I had severe depression for years and am now still depressed to some extent but not as bad. I had anxiety that went along with it really bad and still have some but not as bad. It caused me to withdraw and I wanted to be alone all the time. I would say that avoiding anyone or anything that caused me sadness and trying to fill my life with only those people or things that don't make me sad or that make me happy has helped. What happened with you're family is sad. It's possible that if you can leave the thoughts of it behind that it might help. Try to leave all the bad baggage behind and bring the good stuff with you. I would think that not being around anyone who is abusive, like your sister, would help. She sounds like a terrible person. Remember that most people are not abusive like her. I wonder if meeting someone who loves you, could help you be happy. I met my wife, and I love being with her. It helps. It's great having someone who loves me to talk to, or ask advice. You are in control of your life, even if it might not feel that way, because of what you're going through. By all means, do anything you can to help yourself. I hope you don't feel that you can't overcome at least some of the depression and anxiety. It really is possible that you can. It's possible that you can be happy again, even most of the time. I hope the answers you find here can help.
Answer by latj
You are my friend and it is time you check yourself into a hospital. I know it is not what you want but things have gone too far. You are in a situation where you are not in control of things and you need help. A couple of weeks ago you had mentioned that you were thinking about going into a hospital and things have been spiraling out of control since then. I will pray that you will understand that you need help and do the best thing for yourself and not tell anyone in your toxic family and check yourself into a hospital. You need the help now more than ever. I would hate to see you get down any further than you are, this is the worse I have ever heard you my friend and truly I am worried and concerned for you. I will EM you today. Please consider checking yourself into a hospital immediately. Please.
Peace & Love :)
Orignal From: I'm afraid my mental health & stress will kill me one day soon. May someone please help me?
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