For the winter of that year (last winter, 2009), I was horribly depressed, and it felt like that event was what sparked it. I would break down into tears and worry about my mental health, etc.
Then, in spring of 2010, I pulled out of it. I felt happy all the time, and things started looking up. In September, I went back to school feeling superb. Hell, I even had a new girl that I was going out with.
At the end of September 2010, the girl decided she wanted to sleep with my friend, and we broke up. Turned out she cheated on me a lot. Anyways, I didn't really feel too bad about it. I was shocked at how apathetic I was, because a year ago such a betrayal would have destroyed me. Life still seemed good, just not as good as before.
Then, in November, something new began. I was watching a movie, and asked myself, "Does this really matter?". I asked about it here on Yahoo Answers, and the answers I got were...satisfactory. To an extent, however. Soon, almost NOTHING seemed to matter, but now the depression has changed.
Currently, including today, the depression is fueled by over-analyzations. Of EVERYTHING. If I hear a song, I ask myself, "What is this? Just a bunch of noise". I try to defend it, thinking, "It expresses emotion", and then I get to the point where I ask myself: What is emotion? Isn't it just a chemical reaction in the brain?
Soon it got to the point where my very existence was one big question. Things that never depressed me (not knowing how the universe came to be, for example) started to. And not only depress me, but freak me right the hell out. And some days my overall attitude ping-pongs back and forth. One minute I accept the way things are, and the next I'm losing my frickin' mind over it.
What IS existence? Why doesn't this make any sense to me? What is happiness, and why do we feel it? Why SHOULD we feel it? Why should *I* feel it? I try and tell myself, "Life might be pointless, but I'm just here to enjoy the ride". But then I question enjoyment itself! What is enjoying something? If another intelligent species came to visit us from space, would they have the same emotions as us?
These thoughts constantly rattle in my brain ceaselessly. The only moments of peace I have are the three minutes after I wake up from a daze, and whatever short periods of time in my day I actually enjoy myself.
Has anybody else EVER had this problem as a teenager? Do you ever get out of it? Is it linked to my depression from last year? Has existence ever just nagged at you for three months without any rest?
My God, can SOMEBODY in the world help me before I blow my damn head off? XD
If you read all this, thank you. If you can help, thank you ever so much.
Answer by dude
When you do this self talk to yourself it is a negative thing. You have to catch yourself and reverse your thought. It may seem hard but it can be done. You have to look toward the light in life. We find meaning in the things we do. If you don't do anything, get out and volunteer somewhere. A good thing to do is hang out in the lobby of a local hospital. You will see people much, much worse off then you with a will to live.
Living inside your head will depress anyone. Do something for someone else.
Answer by Drastyk24
i go through this myself; im 19 now and i been a analyst since a child; and sometimes it drives u crazy to the point you get body aches, i try to shut my mind off but i keep thinking about every single thing that comes along in life. I think the best way is to meditate and accept everything that comes to you, your mind would naturally quite down. You dont want to shut it off because that mindframe is who you are. And thinking is not bad, not good either. I express all my thoughts through writings, i become more in control and relaxed from that.
There is no dictionary meanings for the questions you asked or we ask; like Existance, Life etc. It's somthing that we each have find it from within our spirit, nature.
Orignal From: Going through a confusing phase of my life (as a teenager). Long story, but could I get some help, please?
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