without getting angry and aggressive with them?
i feel very vunerable right now, dealing with bpd, my emotions are sky high....theres a thousand anxieties and worries racing through my mind.
but i know theres people outthere who will infringe upon your life and seek to manipulate you.....just like they did in my bullying past, growing up...back then i didnt stand up for myself, felt intimidated and allowed myself to get bullied..
so now as a 30 year old adult, how do you guard against these unwanted people entering your life and manipulating you without getting angry/ aggressive with them ?
great, great answers...i wish i had guys like you as friends, to be by myside.
thankyou
Answer by Corona
For starters, arm yourself with caller id. If someone is calling you that you know will piss you off, don't answer the call. If you work with these people, and they are doing things to "get a rise out of you" because they think it's funny or whatever, then report them. Tell them you won't be a part of their high school bs and they need to grow up. I don't have a bpd, but I do have people that piss me off to extremes and I do take xanax for high anxiety and stress. The way I see it, is when my phone isn't ringing, that means no one is calling to ask me for something! Just keep up with your meds and take deep breaths. Good luck.
Answer by Koneko
To protect yourself, you have to change how you are A) reacting to these people; B) attracting them.
1) For starters, look for red flags. if someone answers you snotty or disrespectful or in anyway that sounds unacceptable, cut the conversation and the situation short.
This empowerment will change your attitudeand once you get the hang of protecting yourself you will feel safe within your own skin and you will start to project a more confident and less-victim-type personality.
2) Start saying, "no" to others' requests. practice it. after a while, it will make you smile. you may even laugh at the confidence you gain. take back control that you may have given others.
you may have a pattern of being a victim and being taken advantage of. change your attitude and practice not being a target. you may lose friends, but if they were friends, they wouldn't be taking advantage of you. also, you will start attracting more self-reliant and positive people in your life.
Answer by andrea
I symphatize with you. Indeed, the world is cruel sometimes. In order for you to have a sound mental health, keep away from those undesirable characters as much as possible. Ignore them too. Eventually, they will stop from not getting any response from you. It's inevitable though to meet them everyday but trying not to get involved with them is the best. Try to mingle with positive people, those with dreams and goals, charitable ones who make this world a better place. Get involved in their works as well. It will give you sense of worth and fulfillment.
Another thing, past is PAST. Forget about it. All of us become vulnerable in some points of our lives.
Take things in stride. Don't listen to what other says, listen to yourself and those who truly cares about you. Just do what you think is right, appropriate and moral.
Get into relationships like having friends, girlfriend with good people. Remember, it is better to be alone than to be with a bad company/companion.
Good luck! Pray a lot!
Answer by Angela
I understand why you have this mental health problem. First, there is nothing really wrong with you, but an evil spirit is doing this to you. I do not see you as a crazy person, but a person who desperately needs God, to fight that evil spirit within you, so you can be your normal self, again.
My sister, Ann . .others thinks she has bi-polar, but I do not believe she does, because I noticed something interesting (thru God's wisdom): She is her normal self most of the time, but there are times when she is not herself. Its that evil spirit doing this to her, whereas others think she is really like that, for real. But she is not. I love her as my sister, and treat her normally, like everyone else. As her sister, I was there to protect her (from bad men), but this evil spirit within her, made things so difficult for me to help her, when I did. I was patient and kind towards her, still. I did not put push her away, just cause she had this mental problem. She is my sister, and I would be wrong to not love her like everyone else. She pushed me away, and a kindly accepted it. I waited for her to come to me. She did. She came to me, to apologise for being mean or against me. I forgave her, gave her a hug, and cried, for I loved her, no matter what she did to me.
Please know, that not all people are against you. LORD, Jesus Christ will help you realize this truth, when He helps to understand what really is going on with you and in your life. Jesus helped me understand why my sister, Ann is like that, and now, I understood why I did the good things I did for her, before. When I did not understand before, I so much wanted to understand her, but did not know how. But, LORD, Jesus helped me out with all that, later on, when I decided to become a believer.
And, to this day, I do not see my sister having mental problems, or crazy. She is a person, who has the same needs, same feelings just like every other human being out there. She is no different.
And I will say the same to you. You did the right thing (in the past), by being passive and putting up with people who bullied you. You are being the good person, by withstanding it (by not fighting back) because this shows you are a peaceful person, and dont like to cause trouble. You don't want to be like the others, by being mean back. If you do everything to aviod such people, they will only keep coming back to haunt you more and more ..its like a game to them. Instead, live your life like you always do and want to, and let God handle the rest for you. Best advice I can give you is: don't get them get to you, and take the suffering just like Jesus Christ took His. You will be the better person, by doing so. Allow LORD, Jesus Christ into your life, to help you deal with such people. You life will be much easier on you, then.
P.S. We ALL are vulnerable, my brother. You are not alone. Please know, that PEOPLE ARE NOT OUR ENEMIES, BUT THE EVIL ONE, SATAN ..GOD'S, AS WELL AS MANKIND'S ENEMIES. Just ignore (in a kind and respectul manner) those who are mean to you, or bother you. Don't give in, by doing something mean back, for then, you are showing that you are no better than them, by doing so. Keep doing what you did in the past. You are a good person! Don't let ANYONE make you think otherwise.
Answer by chantale 31
From what I already know of you, BPD is horrible and what it makes us go through. I have it as well and its a daily struggle just to stay alive, which is my case right now.. No matter what BPD people always push people away and anger and aggression is a part of that, just don't get physical cause that will cause law problems. It has to be about you and not them, you can't let them run your life, stand up to them and don't let the past repeat itself... Good Luck
Orignal From: if you are vunerable in life because of mental health problems or whatever, how do you prevent against?
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