Do you feel it's necessary to contact an abuser just to say you've forgiven them, or eventually resume association with them? If a Christian counselor or any counselor says you have NOT "really" forgiven if you're unable to do these things, do you agree or disagree?
My spirit tells me reconcilation is not required for a Christian to forgive. What if the people you are forgiving(abuser or not) won't admit what they've done to you? Wouldn't that cause anger if you approached them to say "I forgive you"? Couldn't it be dangerous depending on the situation?
I have forgiven past abusers, and pray for them, when I pray for myself. If I ran into them one day, and could not avoid interaction, I would not treat them unkindly or bring up the abuse. However, I do not want to voluntarily reconciliate with certain abusers. Any thoughts?
Also, there are certain people I've forgiven, that I would like to eventually reconciliate with. But those who are toxic, have not changed their abusivie ways, or worse, I have chosen not to contact. I also ended sessions with this therapist, and felt someone who shared a similar understanding of forgiveness would be best. What do you all think of this decision? Thank you.
Answer by Esther
That counselor is mistaken. You don't need to contact anyone to completely forgive them. This counselor didn't sound Christian. If so, they are a bit confused about forgiveness.
If you tell someone "I forgive you", and they haven't even asked for forgiveness, it actually can be a way of punishing them, saying you were cruel to me, but I'm so loving I've forgiven you. Like that. One has to make sure one's heart is in the right place, and not just using the words, if you take my meaning.
Answer by me m
Forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling. If you forgive them in your heart, God knows it, and reconciliation will be guided by the Holy Spirit.
God may tell you to never go near that person again..... but you can still CHOOSE to forgive.
It has nothing to do with emotions or feelings....
Answer by Quella Bella
It's not about the persons acceptance of my forgiveness. It's about my spiritual growth.
Answer by karen_03625
May I say, God Bless YOU... You have done just what Christ instructs us to do.
I commend you highly on what you have done, you are an inspiration to all.
God does tell us we must forgive and to answer you last question, no, you do not have to go around them.. If this was my situation, I would write a letter telling them I forgave them and are praying for them... God does not mean for us to stay in the faces of someone who did us wrong..
In an abusers heart, they do not see they did anything wrong and that is because they are not of God, no conscience or regrets.. Again, you question was the best I have seen on here.... Blessings~
Answer by Messiahsking
Your forgiving them reflects on the unconditional love that God has and is working through you to those whom have also hurt you. But to those who have hurt you are still in prison to the sins they have commited against you by the quilt they have experienced. But I would wait until they made an attempt to ask your forgiveness to share that you have all ready forgiven them and know that this is the same way God himself opperates. When we come to ask forgiveness of him, He shares, " Forgive you honey for what? I have all ready forgiven you and placed your sin in the sea of NO REMEMBRANCE..Never to remember them again for I love you unconditionally as I do my own Son, Jesus!!
Orignal From: Mental Health: If Christians refuse to contact abusers they've forgiven, have they really forgiven? Counselor says required?
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